Friday, April 4, 2014

mamas can be sad, too!

This is one of those emotional posts that everyone eventually writes on their blog- the kind where you're not too sure if you're going to actually post it for the whole world to see or not...

...I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

My teenage years was a tough time for me. Everything about my life, I hated. I hated my living situation, I hated school, I even hated myself. Hate is a strong word, I know. But that was genuinely how I felt for many years. Had I not gone through so many dark emotions during that time, I would probably still be facing some today. I believe everyone goes through some kind of "depressed teenager" phase, mine just lasted longer and was intensified by 10,000. :)

Anyway, getting to my point- I've definitely learned a lot about myself and grown emotionally since those days. I used to always wallow in my self pity, I wanted people to feel sorry for me, I wanted to play the victim and blame everyone else but myself. I can just see some of my family members nodding their heads while they read this, because they know it's true.

I've come SUCH a long way from that. Becoming a mom taught me to be selfless, to find happiness in moments and not things, to love and feel loved by others, to appreciate time so much more, to respect relationships that are important to you, and so on.

But that doesn't mean you have to completely lose yourself in motherhood. You can still make yourself a priority, you can still be sad when you feel like you're taking on too much (me, right now), you can still spoil yourself every now and then and not feel guilty about it. Because even though you now take care of other people, you still have to always remember to take care of yourself first.

Since becoming a mom, I always feel bad when I'm upset or sad about doing "mom things". Like picking up snack crumbs 5 minutes after you've vacuumed, or washing those dishes that you find lying around after wiping down the entire kitchen, or finding your littles getting into your nicely organized closet while you try to take your 30 second shower. It's easy to feel unappreciated when you're running around like a crazy and everyone else is just enjoying themselves, significant others included.

But it IS okay to feel that way, you are human after all. No matter how zombie-like you feel early in the morning, or when you turn into an auto-pilot robot that flies through evenings just to get to bed time.

Becoming a mom at a young age is tough because you're still trying to find yourself. Figuring out your future and molding yourself into the person you would like to be. Motherhood has been the best thing for me- it made me face my problems head on instead of running away from them like I would've done, and forced responsibility upon me which was something I never thought I would be.

What was the point of this post again?

Oh yeah- mamas can be sad, too! And when I'm done being sad, I will pick myself back up and remember that Pitch Perfect Pandora radio station makes everything better.

Well, that'll be the last time I blog while I'm emotional and over-caffeinated.

Thanks for reading? I hope I didn't scare everyone away... :)

3 comments:

  1. I didn't know you before you were a mama and I would have had no idea. You have come a really long way! I see you as strong, confident, and beautiful! You are talented, organized, creative, and fun! I feel sad, too, cuz I feel like everyone else is having a blast traveling and casually dating and all while I am totally there with you too- the housework is NEVER done and often times totally gross if I don't clean every day. Sometimes I think, what has my life become? But then I remember some things... The kids are only little once. While everyone in my family is living their life, I see how I make it worth living. I keep it all running smoothly- healthy home-cooked meals, thoughtful decorations around our home, making sure everyone has clean underwear... And that's just it! We make our houses HOMES. If you do not hear that you are appreciated enough (most SAHMs don't,) just know that years from now when your babies are all grown up, they will remember these times you spent with them at home. They are going to remember you just BEING THERE. That was something I felt I somewhat lacked growing up, so I know that my kids and yours too will not feel that way. You are appreciated, Paige, and they might not let you know directly, but all those cute little moments (you know what I mean- "Thank you, Mommy! I love you, Mommy!") make it worth it all the while. So get your nails done and your Starbucks and don't feel bad. One of my little indulgences is this yummy sugar scrub I use in the shower only when I'm feeling like I need to be pampered. Pandora works, too! I gotta add Pitch Perfect to my stations! Sending you LOTS OF LOVE from one imperfect Mommy to another!!!!

    I didn't even need caffeine for that bahahah! Preggy hormones :)

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  2. Thanks for posting this. I have been dealing with strong "mommy guilt" lately. I feel bad when I choose to do something for myself (a long bath) and had my son beating down the door to show me his toy (I tell him to show his dad and i will see it when i get out) but even little things like that i question.

    so again thanks for sharing!

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    1. mommy guilt is something that I don't think we'll ever get rid of! haha. it's tough sometimes, but it's always worth it :) and you're welcome! i'm glad other people can relate! <3

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